Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it! One of my readers wanted bonus points for coming up with Eloi as well as the Morlocks. I replied that you only get bonus points in that case for some good recipes for Eloi (The Morlocks ate the Eloi.) Wouldn’t you know it – he sent me a recipe for Eloi Chops, best served with mint jelly!
So, as I was busy laughing, I Googled “cannibal recipes” and found any number of websites. An appropriate comment was found under a recipe for Marinated Leg of In-Laws – “Preparing human flesh for consumption can be tricky. Knowing what seasonings and methods of cooking can be difficult but with this simple recipe guide you'll be serving your friends and family in no time.” And you thought it was just liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Something to think about the next time your kids are giving you grief. Just show them some recipes, they’ll start behaving in no time at all! You won’t be known as a tender father, you’ll be known as a tenderizing father!
As to the story, well, for those of you who didn’t want Carl going into politics, sorry about that. I’ve been building in this direction for quite a while now. For those who wanted Carl to run for Senator or President, I think this is a little more realistic!
Now, a note for the ultra-realists in the audience. There is no Maryland Ninth Congressional District. Maryland only has eight districts, so I had to come up with one for Carl to run in. The Maryland Ninth is actually a fair-sized chunk of the real Maryland Sixth. Let’s see how it works out for Carl.
I had a very interesting email in response to the politics. The essence is as follows: Carl would never have run for Congress. With his bucks he could run for something big, like Senator or Governor. I actually considered some of these ideas, although I am not going to give any spoiler alerts. Let’s consider the alternatives:
President – The big enchilada! Forget it! Carl will never get either political party to consider a political novice for President. (This was long before Donald rode his golden escalator into history.) That leaves him to run as a third-party candidate, which has never worked in American history. If Carl wants to be President, his best shot is to first become:
Governor – Most people would be surprised to learn that more Governors have become President than Senators. So, if Carl wants to become President, he should first run for Governor. One minor issue, the Governor of Maryland at the time was William Donald Schaefer, who in 1990 was finishing his first term as Governor and about to run for re-election. To put it bluntly, Schaefer was the most popular and powerful Maryland politician of his generation, and Carl didn’t need to be a time traveler to know that. He had seen Schaefer as Baltimore Mayor already. Carl could have bought every ad slot on Maryland television for a year and still not been able to become Governor. Being rich hasn’t always succeeded buying a Governor’s mansion in the past. While it worked for George W. Bush, George Romney, and Mitt Romney, it failed for Thomas Golisano, Meg Whitman, and Al Checchi. So, since Maryland Governor is out, maybe Carl can run for:
Senator – This one might actually work. It would be expensive, but that is obviously not a problem for Carl. One minor problem though – in 1990 there were no Senate races in Maryland! The next race would be for Barbara Mikulski’s seat in 1992, followed by Paul Sarbanes in 1994. They were almost as popular as Schaefer was as Governor. It looks like Carl has to run for:
Representative – Funny how that worked out. In addition, if Carl starts as a Congressman, he might be able to leverage that up in the future. On the plus side, the House in the 1990s was one of the most dynamic places to be in government. Carl might have some fun. Let’s see how that works out.
And a final note – Goodbye to all the readers who are leaving. Several have written saying I have destroyed the story. I am not going to try and argue with them. If they don’t like politics of any sort, or don’t like Carl’s politics, or mine (not necessarily the same thing), I can’t convince them to keep reading. Carl has become incredibly prominent by this point. Politics are a natural choice, either on the main stage or behind the scenes. The only other choice would be to retire to the Bahamas and drink himself to death. Sounds lame to me. So, farewell, adieu, ta-ta, adios, sayonara, and au revoir. Try not to trash my scores on the way out the door. Thanks.