Masterman and Son - Cover

Masterman and Son

Copyright© 2024 by W. J. Dawson

Chapter 23: The Last Home

The summer passed in heavy, brooding heat; the autumn brought long days of diminished sunshine; and at last the winter came, with rain and fog. London looked its worst, dull, drab, dishevelled, and nowhere was its grim squalor more distressing than in Tottenham.

A district of mean streets, formless and chaotic, sprawling aimlessly in a sea of mud; houses gray and dingy, exuding dirt; other houses, new and cheaply built, already overtaken by decay, huddled in shivering wretchedness along roads deep in mire; churches with the paint peeling from their doors; paltry ill-stocked shops visibly struggling for existence; a few smoke-stained trees; a smoke-stained sky; and tribes of men and women moving to and fro dejectedly, with backs hunched against the driving rain, or faces showing pallid in the fog, —such is Tottenham. It is a district without grace, without charm, with no interruption in its uniformity of dullness. The disparities caused by social rank, which elsewhere give some semblance of external variety, are not found here. Poverty sees itself reduplicated at every turn; it looks into its own face, and sees no other. A district no man chooses; into which he may be thrust by dire misfortune, in which he may dwell with resentment, with a heart swollen with regret, with a mind embittered; but which excites in him no respect and no affection. London, with its glories and adventures, shines afar; it shines splendid and contemptuous. For here there are no adventures; memories, but no prospects; life without ardour; struggle without hope; toil without release.

It was in this district that Masterman had chosen to live. Its tragic dreariness presented a subtle correspondence with his own temper. Having sought wealth for so many years with a fierce intensity of passion, he now embraced poverty with an equal ardour. The world had humiliated him, and, as if to show how little he cared for the world’s verdict, he added to his humiliation features which the world had not intended. He hungered for renunciation, not as saints have hungered, but with the bravado of a broken heart. He would show himself unsubduable; that was his main thought. And in what more striking way could he do this than by a complete indifference to the world’s opinion, a voluntary descent into indignity? To toil in harsh labours, to eat poor food, to live in the meanest way, without complaint, without visible resentment, —this was his challenge to the world, by which he declared his complete contempt for the world’s judgment and opinion.

This had been his sole motive for rejecting the proffered generosity of Bundy. And there were others beside Bundy, the friends and acquaintances of his prosperity, who would gladly have given him a helping hand. But, since he could not wholly recover his old position, he scorned a partial reclamation. To move before the eyes of these former friends shorn of his power, narrowed, limited, perhaps pitied, was a thing impossible. Better far to leave the arena for ever, and leave it with a proud disdain. Exile was less painful than toleration. The exile may at least keep his pride; but what pride is possible to the broken supernumerary who “lags superfluous on the stage”?

“No,” he said, when Bundy pressed him to accept his help, “I can’t do it. I know you mean it kindly; but I can’t.”

“But why not?”

“You wouldn’t understand if I told you.”

“I understand you’re the most obstinate man I ever met,” said Bundy, with a touch of indignant heat.

“Obstinate? Well, p’raps so. We’ll let it go at that. Yes, I’m obstinate.”

And his smile was so grim and tragic that Bundy said no more.

It was one of the curious features of his situation that the house he chose to live in at Tottenham was a triumph of architectural mendacity; the same kind of house, in fact, as those with which he himself had disfigured London, but some grades lower than his own flimsiest performances. The doors were badly hung and would not close; the wainscots, fashioned of green wood, were already shrunken; the window frames rattled and let in the cold air; the chimneys smoked; the ceiling plaster was already in process of disintegration; there was nothing in the house that was not eloquent of fraud. Perhaps he had been moved by the spirit of irony in the selection of such a house as his final habitation. He might have lived elsewhere; but nowhere else could he have gratified his perversity with such completeness. Grimes employed him; well, let him live in one of Grimes’s houses too; in doing so he anticipated the world’s laughter by laughing himself.

“He’s a holy terror, is Grimes,” he would remark. “I thought I knew how to build a thirty-pound house myself pretty well; but Grimes beats me hands down. He can give me points every time.”

And then he would recapitulate with sardonic skill all the building tricks of which Grimes had been guilty, specifying each with bitter humour.

“I did sometimes use sand in my mortar; but Grimes uses mud—mere road mud at that. And I did put down drains of some sort; but Grimes beats me there—he don’t appear to have heard of drains. And his party-walls, holy Moses! I believe if I spat at them they’d fall down.”

When Arthur came home in the evening, he would meet him at the door with ironic warnings.

“Here, mind you shut that door quietly. If you bang it, it’s my belief the whole gimcrack will be about your ears. And be careful you take your boots off before you go upstairs. Those stairs weren’t meant for boots. And, whatever you do, don’t you be leaning against the walls. They kind o’ shake every time a fly walks over them. I guess it wouldn’t need much of a Samson to pull them down. He wouldn’t need to touch ‘em; I reckon a sneeze would do the trick.”

“Father, I can’t bear to see you so bitter.”

“Bitter? Oh no, I’m not bitter. I’m amused, that’s all.”

“I wish you wouldn’t live here, father. There’s no need. Let me find another house. Between us, we’ve money enough.”

“Well, Arthur, you see I kind of like living here. It’s exciting. You never know what’s going to happen. And, besides, it’s instructive. I’m studying the methods of my friend Grimes, in case I should want to start again presently as a contractor. I’m learning every day. There’s more than meets the eye in this contracting business; and, since I’ve worked for Grimes, I begin to think I never knew a thing about it.”

Remonstrance was so clearly useless that after a time Arthur ceased to attempt it. He accepted his father’s bitter humour, thankful for the humour, if hurt by its bitterness. He even contrived to laugh at times when his father grew increasingly sarcastic over the iniquities of Grimes; but it was the kind of laughter that was more painful than tears.

More than once he tried to persuade his father to leave London altogether. He pictured to him the life at Kootenay, the quiet, the freedom, the exhilarating sense of triumph over crude nature, with all the skill and eloquence at his command. At times his father would listen with interest, asking many questions, but always at the end he would say, “No, no; it’s too late for that. I’m a have-been. I can’t begin again. And, besides, it would look like running away, and I won’t do that. A man has to take his medicine, and I’m going to take mine.”

At times a strange religious vein showed itself in his conversation. He never went to church now, and, indeed, entertained a strong rancour against what he called “church-folk.” Scales had been an officer in the church, and was a rascal. The church-folk had all deserted him in his downfall. Clark, indeed, had called upon him, but had nothing to say. It was all a kind of play-acting, very pleasant if you’d nothing better to do, and that was all. “Churches are meant for comfortable people. All very well while you’ve money in your pocket, and a good coat upon your back, but they aren’t for the like of me,” was one of his sayings. “The Church don’t know anything about real life,” he would remark, “and it doesn’t want to. If it once saw things as they are, it would be frightened out of its wits. So it draws the blind down, and won’t look. It’s like folk sitting round a good fire on a winter night, and when the rain’s coming down and a gale’s blowing. The more the gale blows, the more comfortable you are. What’s the good of looking out of the window? Why, they might see some poor wretch like me, and that would make them unhappy. Better not look. Stir the fire up, and forget all about it.”

“I don’t believe the church-folk think like that, father.”

“Oh yes, they do. I’ve done it myself, and I know.”

And then, amid these bitter criticisms and confessions, that curious authentic religious vein would struggle into light. He would often sit up late reading those portions of the Scripture most characterised by melancholy wisdom.

“Listen to this,” he said on one of those occasions: “’He that buildeth his house with other men’s money is like one that gathereth himself stones for the tomb of his burial ... Weep for the dead, for he hath lost the light; and weep for the fool, for he wanteth understanding; make little weeping for the dead, for he is at rest; but the life of the fool is worse than death.’ The man who wrote that knew something about life now, if you like. Couldn’t pay his mortgage, as like as not; been a bankrupt, I guess. Just wanted to die, and be done with it all—like me. Yet God let him have a hand in writing the Bible—queer thing that, isn’t it? And God must have known the kind of fool he was. That’s what I like about the Bible; it don’t shirk things—tells you the truth every time. It’s a big thing is the Bible—big as a rock; and the Church is just a little limpet sticking on it. Don’t see how big it is; probably can’t see it.” And then, with a sudden pale illumination on the strong worn face, “Well, I guess God’s got to put up wi’ me. He’s big enough to understand the sort I am. And I’m not for apologising to Him. I reckon He don’t want me to.”

Gradually there seemed to settle on him a languor, which expressed itself in a kind of patience which Arthur found infinitely pathetic. He went to his work before daylight, came home weary, and often wet through, ate his coarsely cooked meal in silence, but made no complaint. He had ceased to take interest in the outer world. He received the news of Helen’s marriage without remark, and displayed no curiosity. Once only he was roused to any interest in her. Bundy, in one of his numerous journeys to Paris, insisted on taking Arthur with him, and Arthur told his father that he would no doubt see Helen.

“Paris, did you say? Ah! I was there once. It was there they took me. So she’s living in Paris, is she?”

He left the room and went upstairs. Arthur could hear him moving to and fro for a long time. When he came down, he held a little parcel in his hand.

“I suppose my creditors ought to have had this,” he said. “Only they didn’t get it.”

“What is it, father?”

He slowly undid the parcel, and put upon the table a small gold watch.

“It didn’t rightly belong to the creditors, either,” he said in a low voice. “It was hers.”

“Whose, father?”

“Your mother’s. The first thing I gave her after we’d begun to get on a bit. I can mind how pleased she was. Lord! it seems like yesterday. And then her face kind of clouded over, and she said, ‘But can you afford it?’ That was just like your mother—always afraid I couldn’t afford things.”

He became silent, and stood with wide intent eyes, as if he saw that far distant past limned upon the air. He had never spoken of his dead wife before. The mention of her name invoked God knows what sweet and painful memories.

“Thought I couldn’t afford it,” he repeated softly. “Put it away in a drawer, didn’t like to wear it, thought it too good for her. Some women are like that—not many, though. I guess Helen isn’t like that...” And then, with a sudden lifting of the head, as though he emerged from a sea of dreams, “Well, I want you to give the watch to Helen. I haven’t given her a wedding-present. That’s about all I have to give. I hope she’ll value it.”

In due course Arthur gave the watch to Helen. She glanced at it with an air of insolent depreciation. “It isn’t likely I’m going to wear an old thing like that!” was her sole remark. She also put it in a drawer, where it was forgotten. When she left the Hotel Continental, a year later, it was lost. She never missed it.

It was on his return from this journey to Paris that Arthur noticed for the first time a distinct physical change in his father. The big frame remained, but the flesh was shrunken.

 
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