Chapter 15

As we ambled our way agreeably out of Bath, Paddy and I employed ourselves in worthy speech. He was not yet a notable horseman, but his Irish adaptability was so great that he was already able to think he would not fall off so long as the horse was old and tired.

“Paddy,” said I, “how would you like to be an Englishman? Look at their cities. Sure, Skibbereen is a mud-pond to them. It might be fine to be an Englishman.”

“I would not, your honour,” said Paddy. “I would not be an Englishman while these grand—But never mind; ‘tis many proud things I will say about the English considering they are our neighbours in one way; I mean they are near enough to come over and harm us when they wish. But any how they are a remarkable hard-headed lot, and in time they may come to something good.”

“And is a hard head such a qualification?” said I.

Paddy became academic. “I have been knowing two kinds of hard heads,” he said. “Mickey McGovern had such a hard skull on him no stick in the south of Ireland could crack it, though many were tried. And what happened to him? He died poor as a rat. ‘Tis not the kind of hard head I am meaning. I am meaning the kind of hard head which believes it contains all the wisdom and honour in the world. ‘Tis what I mean. If you have a head like that, you can go along blundering into ditches and tumbling over your own shins, and still hold confidence in yourself. ‘Tis not very handsome for other men to see; but devil a bit care you, for you are warm inside with complacence.”

“Here is a philosopher, in God’s truth,” I cried. “And where were you learning all this? In Ireland?”

“Your honour,” said Paddy firmly, “you yourself are an Irishman. You are not for saying there is no education in Ireland, for it educates a man to see burning thatches and such like. One of them was my aunt’s, Heaven rest her!”

“Your aunt?” said I. “And what of your aunt? What have the English to do with your aunt?”

“That’s what she was asking them,” said Paddy; “but they burned her house down over a little matter of seventeen years’ rent she owed to a full-blooded Irishman, may the devil find him!”

“But I am for going on without an account of your burnt-thatch education,” said I. “You are having more than two opinions about the English, and I would be hearing them. Seldom have I seen a man who could gain so much knowledge in so short a space. You are interesting me.”