The O'Ruddy: a Romance
Copyright© 2024 by Stephen Crane
Chapter 7
When I reached my own chamber I sank heavily into a chair. My brain was in a tumult. I had fallen in love and arranged to be killed in one short day’s work. I stared at my image in a mirror. Could I be The O’Ruddy? Perhaps my name was Paddy or Jem Bottles? Could I pick myself out in a crowd? Could I establish my identification? I little knew.
At first I thought of my calm friend who apparently drank blood for his breakfast. Colonel Royale to me was somewhat of a stranger, but his charming willingness to grind the bones of his friends in his teeth was now quite clear. I fight the best swordsman in England as an amusement, a show? I began to see reasons for returning to Ireland. It was doubtful if old Mickey Clancy would be able to take full care of my estate even with the assistance and prevention of Father Donovan. All properties looked better while the real owner had his eye on them. It would be a shame to waste the place at Glandore all for a bit of pride of staying in England. Never a man neglected his patrimony but that it didn’t melt down to a kick in the breeches and much trouble in the courts. I perceived, in short, that my Irish lands were in danger. What could endanger them was not quite clear to my eye, but at any rate they must be saved. Moreover it was necessary to take quick measures. I started up from my chair, hastily recounting Jem Bottles’s five guineas.
But I bethought me of Lady Mary. She could hardly be my good fairy. She was rather too plump to be a fairy. She was not extremely plump, but when she walked something moved within her skirts. For my part I think little of fairies, who remind me of roasted fowl’s wing. Give me the less brittle beauty which is not likely to break in a man’s arms.
After all, I reflected, Mickey Clancy could take care quite well of that estate at Glandore; and, if he didn’t, Father Donovan would soon bring him to trouble; and, if Father Donovan couldn’t, why, the place was worth very little any how. Besides, ‘tis a very weak man who cannot throw an estate into the air for a pair of bright eyes.
Aye, and Lady Mary’s bright eyes! That was one matter. And there was Forister’s bright sword. That was another matter. But to my descendants I declare that my hesitation did not endure an instant. Forister might have an arm so supple and a sword so long that he might be able to touch the nape of his neck with his own point, but I was firm on English soil. I would meet him even if he were a chevaux de frise. Little it mattered to me. He might swing the ten arms of an Indian god; he might yell like a gale at sea; he might be more terrible in appearance than a volcano in its passions; still I would meet him.
There was a knock, and at my bidding a servant approached and said: “A gentleman, Mr. Forister, wishes to see you, sir.”
For a moment I was privately in a panic. Should I say that I was ill, and then send for a doctor to prove that I was not ill? Should I run straightway and hide under the bed? No!
“Bid the gentleman enter,” said I to the servant.
Forister came in smiling, cool and deadly. “Good day to you, Mr. O’Ruddy,” he said, showing me his little teeth. “I am glad to see that you are not for the moment consorting with highwaymen and other abandoned characters who might succeed in corrupting your morals, Mr. O’Ruddy. I have decided to kill you, Mr. O’Ruddy. You may have heard that I am the finest swordsman in England, Mr. O’Ruddy?”
I replied calmly: “I have heard that you are the finest swordsman in England, Mr. Forister, whenever better swordsmen have been traveling in foreign parts, Mr. Forister, and when no visitors of fencing distinction have taken occasion to journey here, Mr. Forister.”
This talk did not give him pleasure, evidently. He had entered with brave composure, but now he bit his lip and shot me a glance of hatred. “I only wished to announce,” he said savagely, “that I would prefer to kill you in the morning as early as possible.”
“And how may I render my small assistance to you, Mr. Forister? Have you come to request me to arise at an untimely hour?”
I was very placid; but it was not for him to be coming to my chamber with talk of killing me. Still, I thought that, inasmuch as he was there, I might do some good to myself by irritating him slightly. I continued:
“I to-day informed my friends—”
“Your friends!” said he.
“My friends,” said I. “Colonel Royale in this matter.”
“Colonel Royale!” said he.
“Colonel Royale,” said I. “And if you are bound to talk more you had best thrust your head from the window and talk to those chimneys there, which will take far more interest in your speech than I can work up. I was telling you that to-day I informed my friends—then you interrupted me. Well, I informed them—but what the devil I informed them of you will not know very soon. I can promise you, however, it was not a thing you would care to hear with your hands tied behind you.”
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