Sabrina
Copyright© 2026 by The Outsider
Chapter 23: The Joy and the Pain
21 December 2018 – Hilltop Road, Lancaster, Massachusetts
Sabrina nearly crushed Adriana Rosado with her joyous hug. The two women were the same age and became friends the minute they met years earlier. The Knox family enjoyed two vacations to Hawaii, but none since the life-changing shuttle launch in 2011. A six-thousand-mile flight was well outside ‘day trip’ or ‘jaunt,’ so the two kept in touch via email through their teenage years. Contact dwindled toward the end of high school.
“Did you lose a bet or something, Anna? How’d you get saddled with my brother until the end of time?”
Anna laughed at the question and her fiancé’s frown.
“Would you believe I ran into him at college?”
“I thought you were going to go to Cal Tech?”
“I got wait-listed there. U-Chicago accepted me outright, so that’s where I wound up.”
“And how’d you get tied up with this guy?”
“I was pretty sure I recognized him early on during my freshman year. I walked up to him at a party and asked if he was Alex Knox from Lancaster, Massachusetts. He said he was, and we spent the rest of the party catching up. We started dating after Thanksgiving that year.”
Sabrina’s glare fell on her brother.
“And you never thought to mention to your baby sister that you were dating someone, let alone Adriana?”
“You were still settling in at the Academy when she and I met. That Christmas, we were still just getting started, so I didn’t say anything to anyone. Then last year you were, shall we say, distracted? Plus, you know how we like our surprises in this family.”
“I’ll deal with you later...” Sabrina turned back to her future sister-in-law. “What are you studying?”
“Physics, but I think I’ll eventually get at least a master’s in astrodynamics.”
“No wonder you two hit it off. Geeks everywhere! You, me, him, your mom, our dad...”
“Yep, and I’m just the knuckle-dragging grease monkey...” Tony added.
“DADDY!” Adriana gasped.
“Sweetie, Mr. Knox agrees with me that your mom’s way smarter than we are. Heck, she’s probably smarter than the two of us combined!”
“I guarantee I am,” Allison Newbury growled from across the room. She hated it when Tony ran himself down like that. He was a good man, period. “You keep talking like that, Antonio Rosado, and you’re going to anger your wife! You’re smart enough to figure out what that’ll mean for you, I trust?”
“Yes, dear. Sorry, dear.” Allison shook a fist at him. Tony turned to Alex. “I hope your vocabulary already includes those phrases.”
“Yessir, already in my lexicon. I heard Dad say those words to Mom all the time growing up.”
“Listen to him...” Tony snorted, ’lexicon’... ”
“Moving past spousal outrage, Anna, have you two set a date yet?” Sabrina asked.
“Only in vague terms, Sabrina. We’ve decided that Alex should finish his schooling before our wedding, and since he’s already talking about a PhD, that’ll mean a long engagement.”
Sabrina didn’t see why they couldn’t get married before graduate school, but that was their business, not hers. She borrowed the Suburban and drove Tommy home. Once they got inside his house, his mother hugged him. After she released Tommy from his hug, Mrs. Jones embraced Sabrina.
“I am so happy for you two!” she gushed.
“Thanks, Mrs. Jones.”
“I think you’re old enough to call us John and Anne now, Sabrina.”
“I’ll try to break myself of the habit ... Anne.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Sabrina made no move to leave the foyer but gave Tommy another hug and a kiss.
“You’re not staying for dinner, Sabrina?” Mr. Jones asked.
“Tommy and I talked about that, Mr ... I mean, John. I feel like I should have dinner with my family on my first night home. Sorry.”
“We completely understand, Sabrina, and welcome you to the ‘your family/my family’ holiday shuffle! Congratulations! It’ll provide you with years of extra holiday stress! Fortunately, the older boys are with their other families this year. Your folks have invited us to Christmas dinner on Tuesday, so it works out in both families’ favor this time around.”
“Having your family right next door helps, too,” she pointed out.
“That it does,” Anne commented. “That said, we’re inviting you to dinner tomorrow night.”
“I’ll be here, thank you. Oh! Did you hear Alex is engaged, or am I the only one they kept in the dark on that?”
“No, we hadn’t heard,” John replied. “Thanks for the heads-up, though. That’ll give us time to get the happy couple an engagement gift.”
Sabrina and Tommy used her father’s truck to check out their old stomping grounds the following morning, Saturday. They enjoyed the quiet time together. Her father’s ringtone sounded through the car’s speakers near noontime.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Princess, where are you?” Her father sounded stressed.
“In Ayer, why?”
“We need to go out to Greenwich today, as soon as you can get home. Grammy Alice is in the hospital.”
“Dad?” Sabrina’s voice shook.
“She’s been having little strokes over the past couple of years, Sabrina. She had a pretty sizable one this morning. It ... it doesn’t sound good.”
“No...” Sabrina whispered.
“I’m sorry, Princess. Hurry home,” Jeff said before he hung up.
“No...”
Tears rolled down Sabrina’s face. Alice Cavanaugh had been one of her role models for as long as Sabrina could remember. Alice topped a long list of strong women in her life.
“Sabrina, pull over,” Tommy said gently, “into this parking lot here.”
There, he coaxed her out of the driver’s seat and hugged her. She clung to him and cried. It took a few minutes before Tommy was able to buckle Sabrina into the passenger’s side front seat. He didn’t speed back to Lancaster, but he didn’t waste time, either. Jeff had both of the Suburbans out of the garage and ready to leave when they returned.
“Princess, we’ll leave in about ten or fifteen minutes if you need something to eat first.”
Sabrina didn’t respond verbally but shook her head as she clung to Tommy’s hand.
“Call me when you can,” Tommy whispered, intending to head home. Sabrina gripped his hand tighter.
“Please stay with me. Come to Greenwich with us?” She looked up at him with her puffy, red eyes.
“Are you sure? I’ve met Mrs. Cavanaugh before, but this is family stuff. I’m just the boyfriend.”
Sabrina wrapped her arm around his and buried her face into his chest. Tommy looked over at her father.
“I don’t think it’ll be a problem, Tom,” Jeff said. “We probably won’t be back in time for dinner tonight, though.”
Tommy nodded.
“Sweetie, I need to use the bathroom before we go, then,” he whispered to Sabrina. She nodded and walked inside with him.
Sabrina looked around the kitchen at the somber faces. Her mother spoke into her phone using a quiet voice. Allison met Alice Cavanaugh when she and Jeff dated in high school. Tony had met her once or twice when they came back to Massachusetts. Both wore downcast looks. Adriana was sad because her fiancé was sad. She’d never met his adopted great-grandmother.
Alex came over to hug his sister, causing her to break down again. This hurt more than Sabrina expected it would. She remembered her dad telling her about Alice being in the hospital a few times over the last few years, but it hadn’t sunk in at the time. Alice had always been there, a constant presence in her life, as all of her older relatives were. Tommy walked in and reclaimed his girlfriend.
“I talked to Mom. We’ll worry about dinner another time.”
Sabrina squeezed him hard.
“We should get going, folks,” she heard her father say.
Sabrina’s parents, grandparents, Allison, and Tony climbed into one Suburban, and she, Alex, Tommy, and Anna claimed the other. Her parents would collect her father’s parents from Enfield, while ‘the kids’ headed straight to the Emergency Room at Greenwich Valley Medical Center. The only sound during the drive was the hum of the big SUV’s tires. The radio was off while Sabrina and Alex replayed memories of their adopted great-grandmother in their heads. Tommy and Anna provided silent support.
Aunt Heather grabbed Sabrina as soon as the group from Lancaster appeared in the GVMC ER waiting room. The two huddled in a corner and cried. Tommy sat with Tom Pelley and his sons, Jeff and Kevin. Jeff Pelley was an eighteen-year-old freshman at UVM. His little brother Kevin was eleven and a Seventh Grader in the Worcester Public School system. Kevin had surprised the Pelleys in 2006 when they learned of his impending arrival. Alex introduced Anna and Tommy before offering his sympathies.
The heavy latch on the inside door to the ER made quite a racket when Jane stepped back into the waiting room. Her red-rimmed eyes contrasted with the brave face she presented to those waiting for her. Jane walked up to Heather and hugged her. Jane also included Sabrina in the hug.
“She’s hanging on for the moment,” Jane whispered.
“What else did the doctor say, Mom?” Heather asked in a hopeful voice. Jane shook her head.
“At least we’ll all be able to say goodbye before...” Heather and Sabrina sobbed at the blunt assessment. “Her body is shutting down. She’ll be with Dad soon.”
The outer doors opened. Keiko and Jeff ushered their parents into the waiting room before walking over to Jane, Heather, and Sabrina. Jane looked at Jeff and shook her head. He gathered her into a hug.
“I’m so very sorry, Jane.”
Jane’s eyes filled with tears again, but she held it together for her family.
“They’re moving Mom to a quiet area so that we can see her without disrupting the rest of the ER.”
Trouping fifteen people into a single ER room would be chaotic at best. Five minutes later, a nurse beckoned to the blended family.
Alice Cavanaugh died the day after Christmas. During those four days, the Knoxes, their families, and their friends lacked holiday cheer. The following week wasn’t any better. Anna displayed her true worth by standing by Alex and supporting him during her parents’ visit, which should have been all about her.
Jane Donnelly insisted Sabrina’s family stand with hers in the receiving line during Alice’s wake, given their long and close association. Sabrina stole a glance out of the corner of her eye. Her parents stood next to Aunt Heather and Uncle Tom, closer to Alice’s casket, while she, Tommy, Alex, and Anna stood with Jeff and Kevin Pelley at the end of the line.
Sabrina gave tired smiles and shook the hands of most well-wishers as they filed past. She reserved genuine smiles and hugs for those who understood her relationship with Alice and commented on how proud she’d been of Sabrina. She grasped Tommy’s hand whenever there was a lull. He smiled over at her, trying to give her strength.
Tommy had been rather forceful when he insisted on accompanying Sabrina to Greenwich for the wake and funeral. She hadn’t put up much of a fight. Anna hadn’t hesitated when she told her parents she’d be there for Alex, also. Allison and Tony were proud of their youngest for already stepping into the role of a supportive spouse. They sat in the chairs arranged for attendees, waiting.
Sabrina felt the eyes on her again as she stood in the front pew of Greenwich’s St. Anne’s Church during Alice’s funeral the following morning. Those who didn’t know the family well were still confused by the presence of ‘extra’ great-grandchildren. Sabrina was glad the Quabbin Inn had agreements with the dry cleaners in town for expedited service for their guests. She hadn’t planned on wearing her service dress uniform until she flew back to the Academy. They had her uniform SAMI-ready within hours of checking in.
When the priest finished the graveside ceremony, Sabrina laid a rose on Alice’s casket when it was her turn to file past. She paused to render a salute to Alice’s headstone, which also marked Grampy Tom Cavanaugh’s resting place. Her father and Uncle Tom, both former – though later – members of Grampy’s final command, had done the same.
Now, five years after Grampy’s funeral – almost to the day – Sabrina again found herself seated on a familiar stool in the Cavanaugh’s mudroom overlooking Alice’s snow-covered garden. Unlike that day five years ago, Tommy sat next to her, his arm around her shoulders as she leaned on him.
The crush of people filling the house for the after-service reception was worse than during Grampy’s. The mix of people was different – fewer veterans and more of the ladies of valley society. The confused looks and probing questions were the same, though. Tommy had been the one to pull her out of the living room and to the back of the house this time.
“I thought I’d find you back here, Sabrina.”
“Hi, Grandma.”
“Got to be too much again?”
“I could tell she was getting overwhelmed, Jane, so I brought her back here.”
“Thank you for doing that, Tom. Mom found her back here after Dad’s service, too. It’s a good spot to hide from people.” Jane addressed Sabrina again. “Those biddies got to you, did they? Nosy bitches...”
Sabrina shrugged.
“They were Grammy’s friends...”
“No, they weren’t, Sabrina,” Jane cut in. “Mom’s true friends know your family’s connection to ours and that she’d long since claimed you as her great-granddaughter. Heck, she even claimed your dad for all those years...”
That drew a thin smile from Sabrina, which was better than her downcast look.
“Which probably affected her social standing...”
Jane placed a gentle hand on Sabrina’s shoulder.
“Sabrina, your dad is one of the finest men I’ve ever met. At one time, I’d hoped to call him my son-in-law, but he and your mom were made for each other.” She then used her hand to raise Sabrina’s chin. “And their daughter got the best from both of them.”
Sabrina squeezed the air out of her grandmother.
Tommy held Sabrina as he sat beside her on their flight west a few days later. The plush leather seat made it easy for Sabrina to curl up against him and nap.
“Can I get you anything, Mr. Jones?” the flight attendant whispered.
Tommy shook his head and smiled in thanks. The emotional rollercoaster during Christmas break had drained Sabrina. Tommy hadn’t been immune to its effects, either. He dozed off and on during the flight, though he never fell into the deep sleep his girlfriend found. Sabrina’s snores told everyone of her exhaustion.
“Sabrina?” A gentle shake. “Sabrina, time to wake up, babe.”
She woke with a start. She shook her head and sat up.
“I guess I was really out, huh?”
“You kinda needed it...”
“I probably still need to sleep for a week.” Sabrina rubbed her eyes. “How long until we land?”
The aircraft throttled back.
“Not long enough for you to clean up. You’ll have to wait until we get to the FBO.”
Tommy carried Sabrina’s bags into the small, private waiting area while Sabrina washed her face in the ladies’ room. She hugged him and indulged herself with a prolonged kiss.
“I should get back outside for the hop to Denver, Sabrina. The duty-time clock is ticking for the flight crew.”
“I know, Tom. I don’t want to let go, though.”
“I don’t either, Sabrina. I’ll text you when I get back to my room. Call me later tonight, if you can?”
After another brief kiss, he was gone. Sabrina called the Gallardos to ask them to bring her truck to the airport. The CQ at King Ratz marked Sabrina as having reported in. She then handed her an envelope. In case the contents were unwelcome, Sabrina would open it in her room.
“Hey, Sabrina!” Dina chirped. “How was your break?”
“Not the greatest,” Sabrina sighed as she dumped her bags onto the floor.
She changed out of the service dress and into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Dina waited until her roommate dropped into her desk chair.
“What happened?”
“My great-grandmother died the day after Christmas. We buried her on the 30th.”
“I’m sorry, Sabrina. Was she your mom’s grandmother or your dad’s?”
“Technically, neither,” Sabrina explained her family’s relationship with the Cavanaugh family. “Grammy Alice was one neat lady and a hell of a role model. Her daughter and granddaughter, my Grandma Jane and Aunt Heather, are just like her – fearless, bold, take-charge...”
“Sounds like one hell of a lady, all right.”
“Still, it wasn’t all bad. Tommy was amazing. He stood by me through the whole thing, even to the point of not spending much time with his own family. Oh, and my big brother got engaged.”
“Alex? The one you’re still talking to?”
“Right. He ran into another adopted aunt’s youngest at school, and they hit it off.”
Dina looked at the envelope still in Sabrina’s hand.
“What’s that, then?”
Sabrina forgot she still held the envelope.
“Guess I should find out, huh?” She tore open one end, and an object clattered onto the desk. “I guess that means I’m not on double-secret probation any longer...”
“Well, it’s not ticking ... What is it?”
“A Superintendent’s List pin. I’m back on the Supe’s List.”
Sabrina’s phone chirped with an incoming text.
“I know that ringtone,” Dina laughed as she stood. “I’m gonna run over to Fairchild and get us both something from the sandwich place. You have an hour to finish your phone sex!”
Sabrina’s slipper smacked the back of their door as Dina made her escape.
“I don’t think this upgrade class is going to be much of a challenge for you, Sabrina,” firstie Dan Connole said as they waited for the rest of the Airmanship 473 students to file in.
“I don’t know about that, Sir. Teaching someone how to teach isn’t the same as teaching them to fly.”
“It’s Dan when we’re not in class, Sabrina. And, while you’re right, your abilities as an instructor are well known.”
She shrugged.
“My flight instructor back home had a soft touch, and I’ve patterned my instructing style after his. Making people nervous when you’re a few thousand feet off the ground isn’t really a good idea, in my mind.”
“No, generally not,” he answered with a smile. Dan stepped over to the lectern and started the class.
Airmanship 473 would prepare Sabrina to instruct instructors. She almost declined the class when it was offered, but then reconsidered. She enjoyed teaching the younger cadets. The Academy needed people in the pipeline to continue the soaring programs, though. No one could teach AM251 if no one learned to train the trainers. The 306th Flying Training Wing might oversee flying instruction at the Academy, but the cadets were the ones who did it.
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