Madazine
Copyright© 2017 by Scriptorius
Chapter 80
COME AGAIN!
The closing stage of a recent hearing in a UK court included an extraordinary exchange between the chairman of the magistrates and the plaintiff, Ephraim Wharfedale. It is given below:
Chairman: Now, Mr Wharfedale, this seems to be a strange case. Both you and the defendant, Mr Grobe, are representing yourselves and we have already heard what he has to say. He claims that he had never heard of you before this action began, that he has no idea why you initiated it and that he has appeared only because he was required to do so. I would now like to hear from you.
Wharfedale: It is all quite simple, Your Honour. The defendant attacked me with a most fearsome weapon, causing me bodily harm and mental anguish.
Chairman: I see. What was the instrument he used and what injury was done?
Wharfedale: He struck me in the face with a white cabbage. As a result I had a lengthy nosebleed and suffered emotional consequences.
Chairman: When did the incident occur?
Wharfedale: On the tenth of November, 1816.
Chairman: I don’t understand. You say you are speaking of something that took place over two hundred years ago.
Wharfedale: That is correct.
Chairman: Remarkable. You seem to be a relatively young man, as does Mr Grobe. Why has it taken you over two centuries to pursue this matter?
Wharfedale: That is easily explained, Your Honour. The assault took place when Mr Grobe and I were in earlier incarnations. I suppose he thought he could get away with it, but I imagine he reckoned without karma, which has now caught up with him.
Chairman: My word, we are in deep waters here. Who were the two of you at the time to which you refer?
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