Chapter 29

THE BOON COMPANIONS.

The wine, port, being called for, and the two seated at the little table, a natural pause of convivial expectancy ensued; the stranger’s eye turned towards the bar near by, watching the red-cheeked, white-aproned man there, blithely dusting the bottle, and invitingly arranging the salver and glasses; when, with a sudden impulse turning round his head towards his companion, he said, “Ours is friendship at first sight, ain’t it?”

“It is,” was the placidly pleased reply: “and the same may be said of friendship at first sight as of love at first sight: it is the only true one, the only noble one. It bespeaks confidence. Who would go sounding his way into love or friendship, like a strange ship by night, into an enemy’s harbor?”

“Right. Boldly in before the wind. Agreeable, how we always agree. By-the-way, though but a formality, friends should know each other’s names. What is yours, pray?”

“Francis Goodman. But those who love me, call me Frank. And yours?”

“Charles Arnold Noble. But do you call me Charlie.”

“I will, Charlie; nothing like preserving in manhood the fraternal familiarities of youth. It proves the heart a rosy boy to the last.”

“My sentiments again. Ah!”

It was a smiling waiter, with the smiling bottle, the cork drawn; a common quart bottle, but for the occasion fitted at bottom into a little bark basket, braided with porcupine quills, gayly tinted in the Indian fashion. This being set before the entertainer, he regarded it with affectionate interest, but seemed not to understand, or else to pretend not to, a handsome red label pasted on the bottle, bearing the capital letters, P. W.

“P. W.,” said he at last, perplexedly eying the pleasing poser, “now what does P. W. mean?”

“Shouldn’t wonder,” said the cosmopolitan gravely, “if it stood for port wine. You called for port wine, didn’t you?”

“Why so it is, so it is!”

“I find some little mysteries not very hard to clear up,” said the other, quietly crossing his legs.

This commonplace seemed to escape the stranger’s hearing, for, full of his bottle, he now rubbed his somewhat sallow hands over it, and with a strange kind of cackle, meant to be a chirrup, cried: “Good wine, good wine; is it not the peculiar bond of good feeling?” Then brimming both glasses, pushed one over, saying, with what seemed intended for an air of fine disdain: “Ill betide those gloomy skeptics who maintain that now-a-days pure wine is unpurchasable; that almost every variety on sale is less the vintage of vineyards than laboratories; that most bar-keepers are but a set of male Brinvilliarses, with complaisant arts practicing against the lives of their best friends, their customers.”

A shade passed over the cosmopolitan. After a few minutes’ down-cast musing, he lifted his eyes and said: “I have long thought, my dear Charlie, that the spirit in which wine is regarded by too many in these days is one of the most painful examples of want of confidence. Look at these glasses. He who could mistrust poison in this wine would mistrust consumption in Hebe’s cheek. While, as for suspicions against the dealers in wine and sellers of it, those who cherish such suspicions can have but limited trust in the human heart. Each human heart they must think to be much like each bottle of port, not such port as this, but such port as they hold to. Strange traducers, who see good faith in nothing, however sacred. Not medicines, not the wine in sacraments, has escaped them. The doctor with his phial, and the priest with his chalice, they deem equally the unconscious dispensers of bogus cordials to the dying.”

“Dreadful!”

“Dreadful indeed,” said the cosmopolitan solemnly. “These distrusters stab at the very soul of confidence. If this wine,” impressively holding up his full glass, “if this wine with its bright promise be not true, how shall man be, whose promise can be no brighter? But if wine be false, while men are true, whither shall fly convivial geniality? To think of sincerely-genial souls drinking each other’s health at unawares in perfidious and murderous drugs!”

“Horrible!”

“Much too much so to be true, Charlie. Let us forget it. Come, you are my entertainer on this occasion, and yet you don’t pledge me. I have been waiting for it.”

“Pardon, pardon,” half confusedly and half ostentatiously lifting his glass. “I pledge you, Frank, with my whole heart, believe me,” taking a draught too decorous to be large, but which, small though it was, was followed by a slight involuntary wryness to the mouth.

“And I return you the pledge, Charlie, heart-warm as it came to me, and honest as this wine I drink it in,” reciprocated the cosmopolitan with princely kindliness in his gesture, taking a generous swallow, concluding in a smack, which, though audible, was not so much so as to be unpleasing.

“Talking of alleged spuriousness of wines,” said he, tranquilly setting down his glass, and then sloping back his head and with friendly fixedness eying the wine, “perhaps the strangest part of those allegings is, that there is, as claimed, a kind of man who, while convinced that on this continent most wines are shams, yet still drinks away at them; accounting wine so fine a thing, that even the sham article is better than none at all. And if the temperance people urge that, by this course, he will sooner or later be undermined in health, he answers, ‘And do you think I don’t know that? But health without cheer I hold a bore; and cheer, even of the spurious sort, has its price, which I am willing to pay.’”

“Such a man, Frank, must have a disposition ungovernably bacchanalian.”

“Yes, if such a man there be, which I don’t credit. It is a fable, but a fable from which I once heard a person of less genius than grotesqueness draw a moral even more extravagant than the fable itself. He said that it illustrated, as in a parable, how that a man of a disposition ungovernably good-natured might still familiarly associate with men, though, at the same time, he believed the greater part of men false-hearted—accounting society so sweet a thing that even the spurious sort was better than none at all. And if the Rochefoucaultites urge that, by this course, he will sooner or later be undermined in security, he answers, ‘And do you think I don’t know that? But security without society I hold a bore; and society, even of the spurious sort, has its price, which I am willing to pay.’”

“A most singular theory,” said the stranger with a slight fidget, eying his companion with some inquisitiveness, “indeed, Frank, a most slanderous thought,” he exclaimed in sudden heat and with an involuntary look almost of being personally aggrieved.

“In one sense it merits all you say, and more,” rejoined the other with wonted mildness, “but, for a kind of drollery in it, charity might, perhaps, overlook something of the wickedness. Humor is, in fact, so blessed a thing, that even in the least virtuous product of the human mind, if there can be found but nine good jokes, some philosophers are clement enough to affirm that those nine good jokes should redeem all the wicked thoughts, though plenty as the populace of Sodom. At any rate, this same humor has something, there is no telling what, of beneficence in it, it is such a catholicon and charm—nearly all men agreeing in relishing it, though they may agree in little else—and in its way it undeniably does such a deal of familiar good in the world, that no wonder it is almost a proverb, that a man of humor, a man capable of a good loud laugh—seem how he may in other things—can hardly be a heartless scamp.”

“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the other, pointing to the figure of a pale pauper-boy on the deck below, whose pitiableness was touched, as it were, with ludicrousness by a pair of monstrous boots, apparently some mason’s discarded ones, cracked with drouth, half eaten by lime, and curled up about the toe like a bassoon. “Look—ha, ha, ha!”