Dwell Deep; Or, Hilda Thorn's Life Story
Copyright© 2026 by Amy Le Feuvre
Chapter 15: A Gathering Cloud
‘O friend! O best of friends! Thy absence more
Than the impending night darkens the landscape o’er!’—Longfellow.
‘Miss Rayner is in the drawing-room, and would like to see you, miss,’ was the message brought to me one afternoon.
I hastened in. She had been to see me twice whilst I was ill, but neither time was I well enough to enjoy her visit. I had written to tell her of my engagement, and was a little doubtful as to how she would receive the news. I had not heard from her since.
‘Well,’ she said, drawing me towards her by both hands, ‘you haven’t been long about this affair, child! You did not know such a person was in existence a couple of months ago. And it isn’t a curate, after all!’
‘Would you rather it had been, Miss Rayner?’ I asked, laughing.
‘I abominate the tribe, as you know, but, as far as I am concerned, this Mr. Stanton may not be much better. Who is he, and what is he? He is an unknown quantity to me!’
‘He is a Christian and a gentleman,’ I said warmly ‘and one of Hugh’s literary friends.’
‘A dreamy book-worm like Hugh? That does not commend him to me; I should wish you something better. Now don’t try to crush me with that fiery look. How do I know what he is like? I only know that you must have had very short acquaintance with him, and you could afford to wait. You are quite a child still.’
‘Shall I call him and introduce him to you? He is in the house,’ I asked very quietly, for I knew Miss Rayner was only trying to draw me out.
‘Not just yet; my call is on you this afternoon. Are you feeling strong again? How that attack has pulled you down! Are they feeding you up well?’
‘Yes, I am getting well fast.’
She sat down and talked to me for some time, and then allowed me to go and fetch Philip.
I need not have been afraid of the result, though I had prepared him for her extremely blunt way of speaking.
As she shook hands with him, she said, —
‘I have come over to see what you are like. I take an interest in this child here, and I was not best pleased at the news. I hope you mean to be good to her. Are you sure you are suited to each other?’
Philip was not in the slightest disconcerted by this speech, only a gleam of humour was in his eye as he replied, ‘That remains to be seen. Of course we think we are at present, but that is always the case. I think you will allow I am strong enough to protect her, and old enough to know my own mind. I doubt if I am good enough for her, but I am going to try to do my best.’
Miss Rayner was silent for a minute.
He added, ‘I am really glad to meet with any one who takes an interest in Hilda. Her friends seem to be few and far between. She has spoken to me of you, and of how much she enjoyed her visit to you.’
And then they drifted into an easy, amicable conversation one with the other, whilst I for the most part was silent, only putting in a word now and then. Afterwards Mrs. Forsyth came in, and then Miss Rayner did not stay much longer. I had one word alone with her in the hall.
‘I see by your anxious eyes what you want to ask,’ she said good-naturedly, pinching my cheek as she spoke. ‘I am slow to make friends, but he looks honest and good, and is presentable; you might do worse, I suppose; only don’t be hurried into a hasty marriage, I implore you. Get to know each other through and through first. Ah! well, you have knocked down one of my castles in the air, but I might have expected it! I am sure I wish you every happiness, child.’ A quick sigh followed her words, and then she called out brightly to us as she got into her trap, —
‘Come over and dine with me both of you one night; if not now, when next you come down, Mr. Stanton. I suppose you will be continually hovering about this neighbourhood now!’
The last day of Philip’s visit soon came. I drove down to the station to see him off, but I dreaded the parting.
‘You must write to me often, and tell me all about yourself,’ he said, trying to speak cheerfully; ‘and when Easter comes I have a plan in my head. I shall get a cousin of mine to come down with her husband to Cobham Hall, and then she will help me entertain my visitors. I shall invite all of you down, for I want you to see your future home, childie. Meanwhile, I shall doubtless be able to run down here for a day or two and see you. Mrs. Forsyth has kindly asked me to do so whenever I can.’
‘Yes,’ I said; ‘the future looks very bright to me, almost too bright sometimes, I think. Oh, how good God has been!’
Then after a moment’s silence I said, ‘I shall miss you so, Philip. It will seem like a dream.’
‘You will “dwell deep,”’ he said, smiling as he quoted my favourite verse. ‘We are not solely dependent on each other’s presence for happiness, are we? We shall be able to strengthen each other’s hands by prayer.’
He went; and I think others besides me missed him. His presence made itself felt wherever it was. Hugh had behaved very well about our engagement. He said to me, with a grave smile, when first he heard of it, —
‘You have gained a friend, and I have lost one. I ought to be vexed, I suppose.’
‘Oh no,’ I replied; ‘your friendship with him remains unchanged. You will find there will be no difference. I cannot be to him what you are, and if he does not spend quite so much time with you now as he has done, it will not always be so.’
But he turned away with a laugh and a shake of his head.
We were very quiet for some time after Philip’s departure. Constance went away on a visit to Mr. Stroud’s relatives. Kenneth went up to London, and as I was still far from strong, I was left to do very much as I liked, Nelly accompanying her mother when she went out. General Forsyth called me into his study one morning to have a talk over my future.
‘Have you any idea in your own head when your marriage is to be? Has Stanton said anything to you about it?’
‘I—I don’t wish to hurry about it,’ I said confusedly; ‘he is willing to wait.’
‘How long?’ demanded my guardian shortly.
‘Are you wanting to get rid of me?’ I asked, a little vexed by his tone.
‘Do not be so foolish!’ was the reply. ‘I intend, as I have told you before, to treat you as I should one of my daughters; but it seems to me that there is nothing to wait for. Constance is going to be married about Easter. I do not see why that time should not suit you.’
‘Oh no,’ I cried; and though I had resented them at the time, Miss Rayner’s words came before me. ‘I would rather wait longer; please let me, if it is not inconvenient to you.’
He said no more, but I wondered much if the Forsyths were relieved at the possibility of my leaving them soon. I said something of the sort to Nelly, who, of course, eagerly disclaimed it. ‘Why, Hilda, we shall miss you awfully! I don’t know what I shall do, unless I get engaged before you go. Fancy me being left here alone, the old maid of the family! I dare say I shall not marry. I have never seen a single man that I care for yet. Some one asked me the other day if I wasn’t jealous of you! So ridiculous! I am sure I would be frightened out of my life by Mr. Stanton. I am very glad he picked upon you. You are just made for each other, you two! I wouldn’t have him for my husband for worlds! Sometimes when he is thinking, he looks so severe and cold that he makes me shiver. Grace Dawkin said the other day that he looked like a man with a “dark past.” Have you ever asked him about his past, Hilda? Because, really, we know very little about him. Hugh seems to know hardly anything. Mother is satisfied, because she knows he comes of a good family; but he may have murdered some one, or done anything, for all we know!’
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